GayWeddings.com

Question:
It's getting easier for queer couples to elope these days (especially if you live in Canada, the UK or Massachusetts), but most of us (lesbians with U-Hauls notwithstanding) spend time wondering how we'll know when or if it'll ever be time to enter into a life-long commitment with someone else.

And then there's the challenge of summoning enough courage and money to transition from engaged to actively planning.

Which begs the question:

How long did it take you to get married after you and your partner got engaged?

Choices:
Less than a year
1-2 years
2-4 years
5-7 years
7+

 

Actually, our engagement was a bit of an "accident." At our five-year anniversary dinner, I gave my partner a ring. Although I knew that the ring symoblized a committment, I honestly didn't see it as an engagement ring. Of course, she did.
When she asked "Does this mean we are engaged," I did what every good partner does in a situation like this and said, "Um, yeah, sure."

The wedding ceremony came four years later.

Hoo Boy - that's a toughie. I proposed to Chris on Thanksgiving 2003 - days after the Massachusetts court ruled (and 10 years after we first laid eyes). Our wedding plans were underway when - shazam - Mayor Gavin Newsom started marrying couples in San Francisco. We flew there at our first opportunity, getting married that first weekend, Feb 16, 2004. Then we got "unmarried" ("forcibly divorced"?) by the CA Supreme Court six months later. (Now THAT was an excruciating experience. Even tho' we were mentally prepared for it, it was an awful kick in the emotional stomach.) Now we're waiting for the Washington Supreme Court to issues its ruling. It's been 2 years since our engagement, and counting. It's too late for us to get married on the date we want in '06, so we've had to postpone to '07. So let's say "A hopeful 3 years".

quote:

Originally posted by Kathryn:
How long did it take you to get married after you and your partner got engaged?

I think this is in part a practical question based on how formal a wedding you are planning and how much of the planning you want to do yourselves. I personally recommend a year long engagement for those planning a bigger and/or traditional wedding, just so that you can have fun doing the planning and not go crazy with stress of arranging the logistics in an impossibly short span of time. Depending on where you're getting married, photographers and sites can routinely be booked a year in advance.

We had a nearly year and a half engagement which worked out well for us, because we were both in school (college and then grad school) for the entirety of the engagement, and we were also planning a destination wedding.

Here's the longest "engagement" story I've received:

I just spoke with a client who has been with his partner for 30 years and they have decided to celebrate their anniversary by have a cermemony.

My partner and I often remark how hard it has been to find gay couples who have been together for many years (and I guess that's becoming true for straight couples, too!). I was incredibly inspired to hear his story (and those of the other clients we have worked with who have said the same thing).

Gone are the days, I suppose, of couples expressing a commitment and gradually determining a life-long commitment, rather than picking a date 1-2 years out and embarking on a formal "engagment" timeframe!

Is anyone out there reading this who has been together for longer than 30 years or knows of another gay couple who has?

Hi everyone.

I'm just so happy to know that after 4 years, we are Mike and I are getting married. Will someone help us pick our wedding day suits and the bridesmaid dresses. Let me know what you think. Which pics do you like the best?

Personally, I prefer Tony in his white shirt (his pecs look great - lol).

Steve in his birthday suit- gaymarriage.com

So, what do you think?

My fiance and I arent offically married yet, but she has asked me and of course I said yes. We have the date set for exactly 2 years to the day of our first date..

This will probably make alot of people wonder what were we thinking. Well 8 weeks ago went to a function meet a beautiful woman..fell in love got engaged wedding is September 20,2008 afternoon you can come if you like. But really i believe in love at first site. And my daughter and son has never accepted anyone and they call my partner Daddy Pam which I knew then this woman was god sent. I joined her gay friendly church, go to marriage council and parents retreats. Who said love needs a time frame.

Sincerely
Happily ever After

kimmie asked me to marry her November 22, 2007 but we really werent thinking of getting married since we live in fl. In January we actually started looking at different websites and decided to do it. We are going to have a ceremony Feburary 28, 2009 in Las Vegas. Everyones invited!!!