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This is one of the most frequent questions we receive at GayWeddings.com. Though it's difficult, we do our best to answer each question, relative to each particular couple's situation. We have also posted a quick overview on our blog Gay Wedding Fodder, which you might find helpful.

My short list:

* Get a rough idea of the number you want to invite.
* Set a budget or know your budget limitations!
* Talk with your partner about the kind of ceremony/reception/event you both envision.
* Find a place

The rest follows those items.

We hope you'll enjoy using this forum topic to help each other and share new discoveries and hot tips you have discovered during your own planning process!

Remember: no matter how mundane you think you experience was, there is probably someone out there wondering about the same thing so post your thoughts and help a friend out!

Hi Kathryn!

I see you live in arlington! My BF and I are planning for a wedding on new year's eve in the DC area. How does that usually go over with family, friends? I'm sure locations are pricier that day as well, especilly around here.

We haven't told anybody the big news yet so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

Hi Matty!

I know of a couple who had a New Year's celebration last year and I hear it was a wonderful party!

DC always seems to be "in season," but many places alter their rates based on winter & summer so you might find that the prices are, generally, better -- even if you are paying a bit more for service on a big night.

I think the question of friends & family is an interesting one and I'm wondering what other people think. Shall we get a poll going?

I, for one, would be interested in something different than the usual New Year's routine so I'd be psyched! Do your friends & family generally travel at that time. It seems like holiday trip disruption would be the greatest concern.

Congrats on your engagement! I look forward to helping you boys with your planning and/or questions!

Kathryn

Thanks Kathryn!

I feel like most people are always struggling to figure out what to do for New Years so we thought this could be a perfect thing for everyone.

Most of our friends and family are close to the area so traveling wouldn't be a big issue.

Thank you again for your input. We will be in touch!

Matty

Okay, so here's my issue: my partner and I are getting married on 7/7/07 (yeah, I know, we did actually pick that date on purpose!) So anyway, I want to get the most bang for my buck, without completely blowing our honeymoon fund. So far, for the wedding that we want, with the least amount of hassle, without the photographer, flowers, wedding attire, it's about $8000, and that's for a wedding and reception during the day! Is it me, or is this totally outrageous? By the time we get everything else together, including our wedding cupcakes instead of a wedding cake, it will be way over $10,000. And this is only for 75 people, which is a very conservative number. Our honeymoon is also going to be very expensive (we are taking a 3 week honeymoon, with one of the weeks being in Paris, France). Is anyone else spending large amounts of money on their weddings? Any advice? We live in LA, land of expensive everything! Also...we do not want weddding "gifts", such as household items, etc...we would rather have people give us money towards our honeymoon. Any advice on how to ask for money rather than actual gifts? Thanks!

quote:

Originally posted by Highpriestess:
Okay, so here's my issue: my partner and I are getting married on 7/7/07 (yeah, I know, we did actually pick that date on purpose!) So anyway, I want to get the most bang for my buck, without completely blowing our honeymoon fund. So far, for the wedding that we want, with the least amount of hassle, without the photographer, flowers, wedding attire, it's about $8000, and that's for a wedding and reception during the day! Is it me, or is this totally outrageous? By the time we get everything else together, including our wedding cupcakes instead of a wedding cake, it will be way over $10,000. And this is only for 75 people, which is a very conservative number. Our honeymoon is also going to be very expensive (we are taking a 3 week honeymoon, with one of the weeks being in Paris, France). Is anyone else spending large amounts of money on their weddings? Any advice? We live in LA, land of expensive everything! Also...we do not want weddding "gifts", such as household items, etc...we would rather have people give us money towards our honeymoon. Any advice on how to ask for money rather than actual gifts? Thanks!

I know it sounds crazy - and I have no idea what other couples / wedding planners would say, but I think that what you've outlined is to be expected (whether or not it's reasonable is an entirely different conversation!). The $8,000 i assume is your site fee (both wedding and reception), catering fee, and alcohol? Sounds about right - at least for what i've found. I mean, it comes down to how much you want to do yourself (or have friends and family do for you) vs. what you're willing to pay for the convenience and sometimes skill of having someone else do it for you.

I think that everytime we have sat down and planned the next piece of our wedding (band or florist or caterer or site or or or...) we have let out a big sigh and had to decide what we wanted to pay for, and what we wanted or could do ourselves. We're doing our wedding with vendors supplying most of our services, and some from our friends, but really, it all adds up like crazy!
I don't know if your list compares, but,
Things we expected to pay for:
site fee
caterer
alcohol
invitations
florist
band
etc...
Things we had forgotten to factor in:
favors (cd's)
seating cards (also the cd's - we're doubling)
ketubah (jewish marriage contract)
chupah
sealing wax for the invites
wedding website
vendor's overnight accomodations
etc...
And i know i'm still forgetting the main things. After all is said and done, including everything (rings and dresses too, along with research trips to find the place for our wedding) our wedding will easily be $30,000. Not what our budget had been, but a lot of it is "small" expenses not factored in originally - like the cost of our trips to find somewhere to get married, or all the trips to interview vendors and sign contracts, or weren't included in our "wedding", like the rings.
Anyway. I'm definitely willing to discuss this more, as well as what's reasonable - and also, where we were able to negotiate with our vendors (turns out it IS like buying a car, and we moved them down A LOT in the price).
Oh, and as for a "nice" way to ask for money and not gifts - i think we nailed in on our website, let me know what you think!
www.karenandrachel.com, under "registry"

Yep, unfortunately that sounds about right, considering that it's in LA. Ours is running at about $8000 total (including the attire, flowers, invites, etc.) but this is in Western Massachusetts (and we cut a lot of corners with DIY-projects), so if we adjusted that for LA costs, I'm sure it would be well over $10,000. I suggest getting a copy of "Bridal Bargains" by Denise and Alan Fields- I found it sooo helpful in understanding the wedding industry, options for saving $, and becoming aware of potential scams and bad deals. Also, about asking for $ for your honeymoon, there are a couple of different websites where you can make a "honeymoon registry". We used www.felicite.com, where we created a registry of various parts of our honeymoon (accommodations, flowers, wine, dinner for two, etc.) which will be turned into cash when we decide to close the registry. Through Felicite, you can also register for individual gifts from stores, so if you don't want to make a whole registry at a big department store but want to register just for that crystal decanter set you've had your eye on, you can do so on this website in addition to any cash gifts you put on there. What's more, the honeymoon stuff is not presented as a cash gift unless you want it to be- to your guest, she's simply buying you 2 tickets to the MET (or whatever part of your honeymoon). Good luck!

Hi Matty!

I for one would LOVE to attend a wedding on New Years - what a wonderfully symbolic holiday to get married on! I actually *really* wanted to be married on new years eve, but my fiance wanted the fall...so I compromised. but if i was marrying myself and could have it all my way, i'd do the same thing!

Thanks for the encouragement. So far people are excited about going to a wedding on New Year's Eve. We haven't decided on it 100% yet but we are really leaning that direction.

Matty

quote:

Iceland... Where do we begin?

Hello everyone. I'm going to put this post back out there in hopes that somebody with some Iceland info will happen upon it...

We're planning a trip to Iceland for June 2008. We're looking for ideas/suggestions/input on places to visit, travel tips and anything else you may have to offer.
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