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HELP, I really want like an actuall wedding woth like a ceremony and reception and everything, but my gf kind of just wants a commitment party. She says it would be cheaper and we could make it really nice if all the money went to that instead of all the "wedding" stuff. She is worried about cost and where we can have it and about kids attending and breaking stuff and making people sit thru a long boring ceremony... How do I tell her
I really want the whole shebang and still take into account what she wants without giving up what I want?

If there is one thing I learn't about being partners, is comprimize becomes an every day part of life and it sounds like it's gonna start with the wedding for you guys.

Best of Luck

Linda

Wedding Favors to Love - wedding favors to add to your special day

Jessica -
join the club.

I was in the same position you are in now, and the other person who responded is right. Compromise. Find out why she wants just a small party. Dig into your beliefs and find out what and why a huge shebang is so important to you. If you had to pick two things that were important, what would they be? What things are you flexible on?
My partner and I had many talks and arguements about this. We finally made a compromise that satisfies us both. We're having a private ceremony (just us and a photographer), and then a family/BFF party of 30 people. The next weekend we're doing a casual BBQ for all our friends.
It took a lot of talking, but we found something that works.

Something else to consider is consulting with a wedding planner. Regardless of your budget (great planners work within your budget - and find ways in which to ensure their fees won't take you over), they can help you both to find the creative ways that you can each be satisfied and get what you're looking for.

But the other posters are absolutely right - the process of planning a wedding is where you're mutual ability to compromise is really first put to the test.

Best of luck!
Rebecca
Budget Wise Bride

I agree with all the responses with one little twist. My partner and I haven't had the opportunity to really get "married". NJ is in a hot debate, as I speak, as to whether or not the state can control personal choices. I wanted to wait until we could get married as if we were part of the majority population, with a “now you can kiss your partner” ceremony. My partner wants to go full steam ahead and flaunt our relationship. I understand (and love) his “in your face” attitude and he’s convinced me that we don’t need a government to justify our feelings. So back to the original question. If it’s “legal” or just waiting to become “legal” and if you can both agree on what is really the issue, then I say go for it, It will a very special day that you’ll never forget. If it’s a money issue, then someone you know has a friend in the country (Staten Island, Asbury) or in the city (roof top) that would be more than happy to host the party. As someone else said, make it a BBQ, hots, hams and salad. If they love you as a friend then they won’t care. It’s a Party. If money isn’t the issue than make it rock at the boat house.