GayWeddings.com

My partner and I are getting married in May 2008. We made our guest list, sent out Save the Dates and thought all would be well. We're paying for this on our own and don't have a lot of money.

Our dilema is that we decided on the people we were not going to invite. So we have three problem areas:

1) I have a lot of cousins on my father's side that I don't talk to and only see once a year, if that. Their parents are asking my parents if their kids are also invited.

2) I have family of close friends that I used to be close with but for issues such as my best friend's mom and brother are total drunks and deadbeats. Our biggest worry is that they are well known for either not showing up after they agreed to come to a function or they show up and the drama follows (things like packing up food to go before the party even starts. I keep having this recurring image of his brother and wife swiping the wedding cake off the table!).

3) We have a friend who I have been in their lives since they were babies. My friend catches me in a drunken moment on New Years Eve and says "My kids are invited too, right?" And being on the spot without thinking I said "Yes." The next day one of my friends starts yelling at me because our friend told her I said her 5 kids could come after I was telling her the day before how we can't afford to add anyone else.

The biggest problem with all of the above is that these people are asking my friends and family what the deal is and they are telling them "I don't know, you need to ask them."

So the question to all you out there in cyberspace is how do we tell these people that we are not inviting them?

That is a very good question that im sorry i dont have the answer to but I am having the same problem. We want to invite some family but not others but because we are planning so far in advance that we know that they are going to find out. The good thing with us is that our family is in Florida and we are getting married in Las Vegas so if they wanted to come they would have to pay their own way there and hotel. Also is all of your family ok with the ceremony? We know that our families likes each of us but im not sure how they will accept us having a ceremony. Any thoughts on that?

Here is how I am dealing with this same situation (we are getting married in April 2008 and are paying for everything as well). We invited only the people we wanted there. Yes some family members had some issues with it and friends but we just told them that it is a very small wedding and we can't afford to invite everyone even though we want to. If you are getting married and having a reception at a hall or something, tell them that you can only have X amount of people at the location. In regards to the person with five kids...just tell her that you are really sorry but your kids can't come. You worked the numbers and you can't invite anymore people to the ceremony because you have a limit. Also, you could always ask your partner to be the bad guy. Just say that your partner added several more people to the guest list so you can't invite anymore guests (even though this isn't true).