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What is the etiquette in inviting a plus-one on your friends invitations to your wedding? Do I have to plus-one everyone? Can I only plus-one some people?

Hi mb!

What a great question! You have full control of your guest list and your guests should know that the only folks invited to the wedding are those included specifically on the envelope (this includes boyfriends, girlfriends & kids!).

So, yes, you can "plus-one" or add a "guest" on whichever invitations you like.

Kathryn

quote:

Originally posted by mb:
What is the etiquette in inviting a plus-one on your friends invitations to your wedding? Do I have to plus-one everyone? Can I only plus-one some people?

Yes, you can plus-one or add a guest to some people and not to others. Writing names on the envelope is the way to indicate who is invited -- I think this is generally a safer policy than "and guest".

A case-by-case policy can often result in ruffled feelings, though, if someone is allowed to bring their casual date when someone else is not.

I think a universal policy makes it easier to say no to people - you can explain "I'm so sorry, we barely all fit into the church (true) and we're not inviting guests of guests except for [these circumstances]." Our policy was that living together, engaged or married SOs get invited, as did all children living with their parents.

Otherwise, we only invited couples when we knew both guests well enough that they merited their own invitation, or really special circumstances (in our case, 80 year olds who are coy about whether they are living together).

I do think that if your wedding is far away, it is NICE to offer people the option of bringing a guest because many people won't like to travel alone... but by no means necessary. You have to balance it with concerns like budget and wanting to know everyone at your wedding.

In any case, prepare some kind of spiel that you'll give people who will try to invite additional people in their party, such as grown children you've never met, distant relatives, etc. Chances are, it will happen more than you expect!

Great info! Thanks!

I think we will go with the universal policy of no +1's unless we know both people in the couple...or unless it's someone who really won't know too many other people there..

...Hopefully no one will get offended, or show up with someone anyway