GayWeddings.com

My fiance and I are living in Kentucky. We are planning for a spring wedding next year, but, well...it wouldn't really be legal. Due to a 2004 ban, we wouldn't be able to get a license. I know this isn't big news as very few places actually allow same sex marriages, but, should we bother even trying? We're planning on a big church wedding and everything, but without the license, would it really matter?

Opinions would be greatly appreciated. I'm needing either a big reality check or some serious encouragement.

Hi! I'm in the same position - we live in Pennsylvania and there's not a very good chance that gay marriage or even civil unions will become legal any time soon. I was a long time believer that if it wasn't legal, I wasn't doing it, but my partner (of 9 years) finally convinced me that there is no reason for us not to do this. It's really important to her and I DO want to get married, so we've finally decided to take the plunge and do it. Not until 2010, but that's more because we need to save money and have time to plan. Basically, if you know you're with the right person and you want to get married, then do it, any way you want. If it means something to you and your friends, that's all that matters. (and then we're planning to go to CA and get a legal paper marriage so that if we ever live somewhere that they are recognized, we have that too.)

ABSOLUTELY!! This is a chance to stand before your friends and family and pledge your love. If you decide to do it in your home state, or go to CA where it is legal, it is an opportunity to celebrate your love and to gather around you those who love you and respect the gifts you have to give to each other and the World. Why not stand up for youselves and the commitment you make to each other publicly, proudly and with those who love you in attendance? We no longer have to live "beneath the radar." As Billie Jean King says - "Go For It!" I wish you both every happiness.

Christopher

I think it's important to publicly declare your love for one another. My fiance (Melissa) and I are dealing with the same situation.. We live in southeast Texas, and we're having our ceremony in southwest Louisiana.. And neither of those states allow gay marriage (or civil unions)... So we felt kind of stuck at first too.. Lots of people kept telling us that it won't mean anything because it won't be "legally recognized" and we might as well just print up a certificate ourselves and not "waste" all the money putting on a show. But it's important to us. If we were straight, it would be the natural progression of things to get married... So why should it be any different because we're both women, or because the laws haven't changed to reflect the needs of the people?.... I say it shouldn't matter where you live or what anyone else thinks... If you love each other... Tell people... Show people.. Don't let other people's ignorance keep you down.