GayWeddings.com

Perfect timing for this section. We've spent the past 10 months finding a location, selecting all of our vendors, making deposits, saving our money, and planning for everything - but the actual ceremony. We both know this is the most important part of the entire weekend, and the moment that should be what lasts in our memories...and perhaps because it's so important we kept pushing it off...Right now we have a solid draft and we'll hopefully have something very concrete by the end of this weekend.

So, I'm curious what other people did for their ceremonies. What did you say to each other / plan to say to each other? Did anyone speak or read or sing or dance during your ceremony? Did you select non-traditional music to process and recess to?

How did you ask the people involved if they would participate? did you let other people select their own readings / songs / etc...or did you choose for them?

In general, I guess i'm just asking about how everyone did it all!

-Rachel

We put off the ceremony-planning, too. Finally, our officiant was the one who really helped us put it together. He gave us two examples of a typical service for him, one more formal, the other more intimate, that we could build off of. We sent it back and forth over email until we had all the wording hammered out.
Josi's little sister and my middle sister were our maids of honor, and we asked them early on. I wanted a big role for my oldest sister, too, but didn't want an odd number of bridesmaids, so I asked her to co-officiate (meaning she did all of the readings, rather than having various people). I also asked her to write a special remembrance of our grandparents, because we really wanted to honor them during the ceremony. She did a great job. We picked out the three readings, but our officiant wrote his "charge to the couple" (see below) and the benediction himself and we did not hear/see them until the ceremony. The music turned out to be non-traditional, even though I spent countless hours listening to various classical songs on strings- we wound up recording 40 minutes of classical that I picked out for the prelude, and then an instrumental version of a modern song for the processional. Then an old Nat King Cole song to lead us out (a good transition toward our jazzy reception).
Our musician (and very good friend) chose the interlude and practiced it for months before we even thought to ask him about it- it turned out so beautifully! It took about 3 months of (off-and-on) planning to get the ceremony all settled. In truth, I think it was the necessity of writing programs that really pushed us to finish it.
It turned out like this:
*Processional: An instrumental adaptation on piano of "Sunrise, Sunrise" by Norah Jones (our song), as improvised by our friend Kahlil.
*Gathering statement by Rev. Wilson (we chose the less formal wording)
*Remembrance of our grandparents written and spoken by my sister
*A reading from Rumi by same sister
*Interlude: Kahlil sang and played "So High" by John Legend- he was amazing
*Community Vow- Rev. Wilson explained that our wedding was both a personal and a community event, and asked our guests if they would pledge to support us in our marriage as the years go by and stand by us as our chosen community, to which they responded together "We do."
*"Charge to the Couple"- a statement about us/to us written by Rev. Wilson- he talked to us and our family members and significant others to capture our story and then offer whatever wisdom he had on marriage- it was beautiful.
*Reading of a Hindu love poem by my sister
*Unity Candle- before the ceremony, on their way into the sanctuary to sit, we had each of our guests light a tealight on two front tables we had set up. Then, when it came time for lighting the Unity Candle, Josi and I each lit our taper from the table of tealights on our respective side, and then lit the Unity Candle together. I love the community imagery.
*Vows- Josi and I each wrote our own vows, so I read mine first (blubbering the whole time), then Josi, and then we spoke more traditional vows in unison.
*Rings
*A final, celebratory reading from Rumi by my sister
*Recessional: "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole (version performed by Natalie Cole)- we started it very low during the last reading, then turned it way up for the splashy second chorus as we were walking back down the aisle. Four friends stood up in the balcony and dropped satin banners (handmade by a friend) with each of the letters as they were sung in the chorus-
"L is for the way you look at me,
O is for the only one I see,
V is very, very extraordinary,
E is even more than anyone that you adore..."
There were a couple of snafus during the ceremony itself, but things turned out well, anyway. Oh, yeah, and we gave all the guests little bubble-tubes to use when we left instead of rice- it looked awesome in the pictures!
-Kate-

WOW - excellent descriptive account, Kate - thank you! You've really got the wheels turning in my head now.

Yes, we all put so much into the location, photographer, invitations, etc., and then realize not only do we have to plan a ceremony, but the guidelines and examples are few - we're doing it almost from scratch...

How do two grooms enter? lol. Do we stand there before anyone arrives? Do we walk down the aisle?? With whom?? I guess the Wedding March is out ("Here comes the bride" LOL.)

I'm leaning towards walking in together, although you lose the symbolism of walking in apart and walking out together.

His mom and my dad have both passed, so we want a special rememberance of them.

I guess I have to start picking out some instrumentals lol.

Tony

Hey Tony,

I would love to hear how your day went. My fiance and I are now in the planning stages for our wedding in September of this year. We are trying to figure out if we will walk down the isle together?? Separate? Would love to hear what you ended up doing.

Thanks!